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I had never taken marijuana before – surprisingly enough for someone who spent the second half of the 1970s at University. I’m not sure why I hadn’t, I had no problems with marijuana, I didn’t believe the ‘reefer madness’ scare mongering that it was a gateway to harder drugs. Likewise, having been in the rock music scene for over sixteen years ... Mind you. I knew quite a few other musicians who were into harder stuff, and that was something I absolutely wanted to avoid.I tried to recall what Mary Beth had told me about her experiences with drugs, particularly smoking marijuana. She told me how she would get super horny, and her senses would be enhanced; sounds, taste, smell, touch were all super-sensitive. She did say it made remembering the details of what she had done hard; the previous night was often a dim haze. It would be interesting to see how it affected me; and whether there was any difference between ingesting the drug through my stomach, and inhaling in via a joint. I. My position suddenly feels real. And so visible to others. The sense of inferiority too acute - worryingly?very hard to accept - and I catch myself?pushing my mind further into the coming weekend and what else might be different or unknown in RL? The thought makes me want to stop in my tracks, the real fear felt as the pressing thought "What if I cannot do what He might ask?" turns to "What will I do when I cannot do as He demands?" With no answer to sate my fear and only the vision of Him?before me,?I simply surrender to cunt and follow where it takes me; to Him.?After only a few minutes I find my pace and place behind Him and?dutifully follow without looking, each step forward leaves behind another layer of?fear as I?feel shielded and protected in the shadows of?My Master. I feel safe for now. My lack of knowledge of direction and purpose leaves my mind with no need to attend to anything around me but?Him, obediently following Him. Needing Him to direct?each step I take or fear.
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